NO FUSSING Adventure Truck

Let's focus on the No Fussing part of that phrase.

“One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14.

I totally forgot the no fussing part today. I have learned two things from today. I let myself get tired and cranky for the sake of being able to do everything. And, my former level of daily occupation had covered up some fundamental questions I need to answer.

Lessons number one. I put Laine in his crib during Annabel's morning nap because I was getting fractious. Sometimes Mommy needs a nap too!

Lesson number two. Much harder to tackle. Two questions revolved in my head today.

First, how do I want to engage in ministry? So far, I have been able to accompany Luke to his place of ministry and make it mine taking on projects of my own. Now, I have two fantastic little full-time jobs that need almost 24-hour attention. I also can choose to facilitate Luke's vocation. I ruminated over this today. I have no problem saying that my kids and husband are a great ministry, but I want to make sure that my heart is open and soft to the fullness of God's calling. I have made the mistake of dwelling too long in a season to which God originally called me and then urged me to leave. Also, I have utterly failed to wait for God's permission before opening my mouth and deciding to start some project (talking ministry not knitting or sewing--pretty sure Luke and God are resigned to crafting). So, I am waiting this time. Really. I am. I have stopped just short of volunteering to do about fifty different things, but I am waiting. Really. I am.

Canidates: Children's Choir, Adult Choir, afternoon tea, covered-dish Sunday School, women's Bible study, Meal-on-wheels

But I am waiting...Really...I am.

I have not forgotten how unpleasant it feels to get out in front of God. Even to do "good works." I am waiting. I am waiting for my soul to catch up with my body. Maybe when I am able to keep my disciplines in the hereness of now, I can go on to my list.

I am waiting.

Second thought. Why do I so desperately want to have a milking goat? Or a sheep or cow or whatever. Why shouldn't I go ahead and try it out. If you are reading this AND have room on your property for a goat AND live pretty close to me AND can help me learn the basics, can I have a goat?

I had a pretty tearful day today. It is going to happen. I am starting to love where I am. I even love the quiet little neighborhood where I live (it is sweet). But, I loved where I was and I miss it. It is always better to miss where you have been than to be glad when you leave. I think Philippians 3:13-14 was written for such as me. I can't say that I am going to forget what is behind me...that would be disregarding the lessons and love of the past, but I must allow it to enrich me without overwhelming me. I must remember that "no one who puts their hand to the plow and looks back is worthy!" I must remember that I am straining forward toward the same goal in Etowah as I was in Hillsborough. Christ Jesus is my goal. Praise God he is here too!

No Fussing Adventure Truck

Welcome to life in the no fussing adventure truck! Luke quoted Luke 9:62, Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." in a recent sermon. It struck me that that is true not only for those called to vocational ministry, but also, to those following them about.

We are in Ordinary time again. I guess that is why I began thinking about blogging again. It was about this time last year that I had my blogging experience, and I remember thinking about the significance of Ordinary time. With a year to reflect I think Ordinary time is my favorite time of the year. I dearly love Advent and the depth of Lent is profound, but Ordinary time is when serious growth happens.

That's why I think the No Fussing Adventure Truck is such a great illustration for today. Last night our family went on an adventure in the Excursion and Laine and I dubbed it the No Fussing Adventure Truck. The phrase tickled something in his toddler fancy and he woke up on repeat. As I listened to him chew his verbage, I pondered the words. The No Fussing Adventure Truck is the symbol of putting your hand to the plow and not looking back.

As I unpack boxes (bock-uhs) in Etowah, NC, I know I am continuing the great adventure of life. My thoughts centered around the idea that getting things done is not why I am a SAHM. I stay home to unfold the universe before my children. I have to fight the urge to put Laine and Annabel on pause until I am "done" with the move. But that is not living into the day. Allowing chaos to rule my home is unacceptable, but neither can order. This is an adventure truck that gets messy. I finally had a day when I can say I looked my children in the eye while we played. For those who are interested, I am also in bed with my daily load of laundry put away, my sink shined, and the toys put away. (www.flylady.net) God requires that we do what he has called us to do now. Not when we have our closets organized.

I will continue to struggle with wanting to accomplish tasks, but hopefully I can remember the musings of the day and learn to embrace the abundant life that Christ brought.

February 18

Got up before Laine this morning and was able to read my Bible before starting the day. I think that pregnancy brain is hard on meditation, because I am so darn tired all of the time. I wonder how much of my exhaustion is mental fatigue and how much is body fatigue. Today I am noticing that I carry fatigue around in my heart. I think that I will clean that one out. If I am tired, I should rest, and I need to continue searching for what is causing me to be fussy about my daily tasks. Once I figured out that planning for Sunday mornings and giving up trying to make choir practice could change my inner dialogue about my husband at least once a week, I have learned to dig deeper when I start to be grouchy.

Upon reflection, I have decided that my family eats well and plenteously, so if I spend a few more cents on bananas to make sure that they are fair trade, God can be honored in that decision. I think that is how I am going to tackle this idea of stewardship from now on. Does it honor God or make me feel "conscious?"

Ash Wednesday

Although we are not supposed to pray to be seen, I am going to keep my Lenten journal on this blog. Mostly because I am sure no one is reading it!

My thought for Ash Wednesday is this: I always get excited at the beginning of a new church season. I really think the first Sunday in Advent is more enjoyable than Christmas for me. To me, Ash Wednesday represents the beginning of the most honest time of the year. A time for me to clean out my spiritual closets.

I love the scripture from Joel for today (Joel 2:1-2, 12-17). This year for Lent, I want to reflect on my heart instead of my offering. Instead of giving up chocolate, I am going to evaluate each little thing I am keeping in my heart and decide if I should hang onto it.

Today I went grocery shopping and realized that I have trouble staying on my budget because I am a food snob. I want my family and myself to eat healthfully and responsibly, and this can be a huge burden. What aspects of this mission is God calling me to, and what parts am I making into an idol?