#parentingsnorts

Ollie when asked to say, "Howdy, howdy, howdy."

"No, I don't want to say, oudy, oudy, oudy, (head drooping, shoulders tight), but I do this!!"

#parentingsnorts

From the mind and heart of Laine Lingle Dy-no-mite.

Dear God,

It's all about you.  We are so glad that it's all about you.  Christmas.  Christmas is all about you, God, and we are happy we get to have Christmas be all about you.  Because, Christmas is all about you.

Whenever you get an opportunity, God, we could also get presents in our stockings.

In Jesus's name,

Amen

Precocious, huh! Also, perhaps, I have mentioned that Christmas is not so much about presents as the birth of Jesus...perhaps.

Warning: Contains High Levels of Awesome

We are laid up with two different viruses at the same time. 

We have three undecorated Christmas trees.

I have exactly zero pairs of underpants in my drawer.  

So, given my current state of gratuitous organization and self-actualization, I am willing to admit that I am never, ever sending a Christmas letter.  Therefore, I am going to bless each and every one of you with the Lingle Family Update.

My kids are adorable, super advanced and doing various wonderful activities (when they aren't vomiting).  My husband is accomplishing many astounding things in his field and manages to keep to a vigorous basketball schedule.  I have lost a bit more of my mind this year, but, honestly, I don't miss it much.  People expect less of me.

So, there you have it.  We are awesome and shockingly attractive. 

Merry Christmas!!

A Prayer for Warmth

It is hard to explain to a child that some people are chronically homeless without facing the hardest questions in life. Why do we heat empty church buildings at night while people freeze under bridges?  Why are products produced by slave-labor available for purchase in our "free" country?  When is war ok?

These questions are too big for me, but I know one thing I was made to do...make things with my hands. 

So, we made a quilt. Actually, a wool blanket with a fabric pattern appliquéd to the top, but it is warm, sturdy, lightweight and made with love and prayer. 

Since I am a homeschooler raising homeschoolers, we made it a school project.  Laine made a pattern from his pattern blocks and I translated it into a fabric pattern. Incidentally, this was more geometry heavy than I anticipated. Pythagoras had to be consulted along with a journey into sine, cosine and tangent land.  Then Laine helped me select fabric, cut out the pieces and sew the pattern together. Next, I appliquéd the pattern to some yardage of wool coating fabric. I think it is quite lovely. 

Will our blanket solve homelessness?  Nope. In fact, it seems almost like an admission of helplessness to equip people to be homeless, but it is a gift--an act of humanity toward the dehumanized.  A reckless act of hope pieced riotously together in joy by this fidgety, toothless, lovely boy.  

#parentingsnorts

A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine who has closely cropped hair came over to help me stock my canning pantry for the winter, and Annabel, decked out in full princess attire swished up and announced without rankor: 

"Hi, I'm Ah-bewl, you have tiny hair!"

You're welcome!

#parentingsnorts

Ok, things have been a bit heavy around here, so I hereby declare Friday to be #parentingsnorts day.

I have two.

First, Ollie has been saying all of his B's as D's which has led to a rather grim farewell in our house of late.

Luke: Bye, guys!

Ollie: (cheerfully) Die, Daddy!

Second, Laine and Annabel recently made a sock puppet and were taking turns playing hide and seek with it.  As I puttered around the basement putting eleventy-bajillion dominos away, I heard this track-halting remark.

Annabel: Wayne, it's my turn to hide the cock fuppet.

You're welcome.

Losing my Marbles

I used to be a very convivial, intelligent, thoughtful person. At one point in my life I wrote "Thank You" notes.  At one point in my life I had no inkling of the non-hyperbolic nature of the term "bouncing off the walls."

And yet, I find that way back then, before children, my house was a mess, and I rarely managed to finish a project.  Why is that??

I find a certain poetry in the odd truth that as I lose my marbles, I seem to be finding them. 

I have always wanted some kind of Advent thing.  A tradition. A practice. A drumroll for Christmas. You know, a thing. And last night we finally set up our thing. We filled 75 envelopes with puzzle pieces and hung them from a super awesome string in our family room. I can't even begin to tell you how Pinteresty it is!!  Each day each child will get four pieces and by Christmas, voila!! A puzzle. 

So it's a moderately lame thing, but it's our thing and every family needs a thing.