February 18

Got up before Laine this morning and was able to read my Bible before starting the day. I think that pregnancy brain is hard on meditation, because I am so darn tired all of the time. I wonder how much of my exhaustion is mental fatigue and how much is body fatigue. Today I am noticing that I carry fatigue around in my heart. I think that I will clean that one out. If I am tired, I should rest, and I need to continue searching for what is causing me to be fussy about my daily tasks. Once I figured out that planning for Sunday mornings and giving up trying to make choir practice could change my inner dialogue about my husband at least once a week, I have learned to dig deeper when I start to be grouchy.

Upon reflection, I have decided that my family eats well and plenteously, so if I spend a few more cents on bananas to make sure that they are fair trade, God can be honored in that decision. I think that is how I am going to tackle this idea of stewardship from now on. Does it honor God or make me feel "conscious?"