Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Hi There!

Ouch!  It hurts to fall off the earth!

People (usually those with less than three kids) frequently ask me what the difference is between having three kids and a number less than three kids (usually the number he or she currently has).

Here are some things I have noticed:

  • I have approximately 1,000,000 loads of laundry per week.  This is up from the nine that I routinely had with two kids.  How is this possible you ask...milk.  It is drippy, stinky and necessary at every. single. meal.
  • It takes drugs to get three simultaneous naps.  I don't take much...just enough to take the edge off.
  • I spend 50% of my life waiting for small persons to navigate stairs.
  • I don't argue with those who wish to eat crayons.  Purple, blue and orange poop makes me giggle.
  • I still try to stop children from eating dog food...don't hate--it's expensive!
  • More kids means more friends without even taking off your p-jams.
  • When we wake up alone we...hmmm...don't know...never happens!
  • Someone is always in a good mood.  Which is great because usually someone is in a bad mood.
  • I drink coffee.  I never really did before.  I do now.  Always.
  • I never have clean clothes on.  Now I layer so that before I leave the house I can peel off the outer layer of snot and milk.
  • No one ever gets milk cups anywhere but at the table.  Not on the couch.  Not in your room.  And never, ever, ever (again) in my car.
  • Kids don't actually die if they don't have a snack in the car.  They don't even really whine.  Cuz you know I don't pack anything other than diapers in that bag.
  • Audiobooks keep me sane-ish.
  • News is theoretical.
  • I don't go anywhere.  Well, that's not true, but when we go places we make it count.  
  • We have home dates.  Carry out sushi + adult beverage = happy.
  • I should really make the stair wells more interesting.
  • Nothing replaces the joy of watching my children play together.  Three makes a happier, sillier, cuddlier bundle! 

As promised, our new lady, Jessie.

So, there it is.  Five people, one dog and no squirrels.  Anywhere.

P.S.  This photo is actual size.  

Just about.

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