People (usually those with less than three kids) frequently ask me what the difference is between having three kids and a number less than three kids (usually the number he or she currently has).
Here are some things I have noticed:
- I have approximately 1,000,000 loads of laundry per week. This is up from the nine that I routinely had with two kids. How is this possible you ask...milk. It is drippy, stinky and necessary at every. single. meal.
- It takes drugs to get three simultaneous naps. I don't take much...just enough to take the edge off.
- I spend 50% of my life waiting for small persons to navigate stairs.
- I don't argue with those who wish to eat crayons. Purple, blue and orange poop makes me giggle.
- I still try to stop children from eating dog food...don't hate--it's expensive!
- More kids means more friends without even taking off your p-jams.
- When we wake up alone we...hmmm...don't know...never happens!
- Someone is always in a good mood. Which is great because usually someone is in a bad mood.
- I drink coffee. I never really did before. I do now. Always.
- I never have clean clothes on. Now I layer so that before I leave the house I can peel off the outer layer of snot and milk.
- No one ever gets milk cups anywhere but at the table. Not on the couch. Not in your room. And never, ever, ever (again) in my car.
- Kids don't actually die if they don't have a snack in the car. They don't even really whine. Cuz you know I don't pack anything other than diapers in that bag.
- Audiobooks keep me sane-ish.
- News is theoretical.
- I don't go anywhere. Well, that's not true, but when we go places we make it count.
- We have home dates. Carry out sushi + adult beverage = happy.
- I should really make the stair wells more interesting.
- Nothing replaces the joy of watching my children play together. Three makes a happier, sillier, cuddlier bundle!
As promised, our new lady, Jessie.
So, there it is. Five people, one dog and no squirrels. Anywhere.
P.S. This photo is actual size.
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