To the rest of you, I WANNA GO BACK TO FUNNY SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS.
Also, I was in charge of the food stuffs during the Super Bowl, and I am officially firing myself. We had pretzels and soup. Not even a decent chili. It was like if taco soup and brunswick stew got married and had a really boring kid who only wore pressed khakis and never spilled his drink. I mean, it was nice, but not really Super.
Also, there was no dessert.
And then the Nationwide commercial came on.
Obviously I was already feeling tender in my near junk-food-less state, and then the beautiful curly, mop-headed boy FREAKING DIED.
Can I just make a bid here for some Bud-WISE-errrrr frogs or something?
Would that be too hard?
But here is where this Public-Health-Minded, Duke RN, preacher's wife, crazy foolish writer person has to say something Inflammatory and (for some mysterious and insane reason) Controversial.
Accidental death is the number one killer of children under age six in the US (thanks Nationwide).
Do you know why?
Because childhood diseases
So, yes, accidental death is the number one killer of children in America--because childhood diseases aren't. For now.